Dear ABC News:

Please consider this my hearty congratulations on a job very well done. The way you handled the Democratic Presidential debate the other night was almost perfect!

Oh sure, I know some whiners have complained that the debate was unfair to Senator Obama. Other malcontents are griping that there were too many commercial breaks. But most of the grouches centered their complaints on the trivial nature of the questions – a full 40 minutes worth before the first question of substance was ever asked, they claim.

Thanks for sticking to your guns!

I, as a loyal American, fully appreciate the fundamental importance of whether a candidate wears a flag lapel pin.

I also welcome the chance to listen as the candidates were forced to explain themselves on Obama’s Rev. Wright situation, and Clinton’s “Bosnia under sniper fire” episode. The ten-or-so minutes spent on these crucial issues contained far more quality information than the month’s worth of endless discussion previous to the debate. I just can’t get enough detail about those two crucial issues, so thanks.

I especially thank you for bringing up the guy Obama knows, who did something really bad when Obama was 8 years old. I found that particularly relevant to the public discourse.

While many debate-watchers continue to moan about the lack of attention during the debate to trivial issues such as food, clothing, and shelter, I think the debate focus was just right.

Well, almost.

Personally (and please don’t take this as a complaint, just a gentle suggestion), I would have preferred even more questions that get to the heart of things, similar to the gut-wrenching lapel pin issue which brought tears to my eyes.

In that spirit, here are some questions I very much hope you consider asking, in the event another debate opportunity for ABC arises:

1. Senator Obama, boxers or briefs? And, if briefs, would it be impolitic to term them “tightie whities” in this context? Come to think of it, do you consider the Clintons to be uptightie whities?

2. Senator Clinton, if an Eastbound train leaves Chicago at 9:30 am going 62 miles per hour, and a Westbound train leaves New York at 12:25 pm going 57 miles per hour on the same track, on which train would you prefer Robert Reich and Bill Richardson be at the exact time of impact?

3. Senator Obama, you have long-admitted to illegal drug use in your past; that is well-covered ground. The question is, you got anything on you right now? Stephanopoulos looks like he could use a good snort.

4. Senator Clinton, many Americans are surprised that Sox the cat endorsed your opponent. Senator, did you beat Sox? And if not, why not? Plus, how can you insinuate that Obama can’t beat McCain, if you didn’t beat Sox?

5. Senator Obama, are you willing tonight to clearly state, for the record, that you support and will contribute to a fund to buy Charlie Gibson new glasses? I mean, come on – the poor man is beginning to look like that Dumbledore guy from Harry Potter!

Respectfully, ABC, I feel that more questions such as these would get to the heart of what people are looking for in a President, so I hope you consider using some of them in the future.

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