Dear Texas Legislators:

I’ve always said you guys were on the ball. Apparently, I was wrong.

It’s the Florida state legislature, not you, getting on the early train in banning the hanging of fake bull testicles from trailer hitches. Some might even say they’re well-hung from trailer hitches.

Come on people! This is one of the defining issues of our day! This is the true test(es) of leadership. You need to grow a pair. Then ban ’em!

I do, however, suggest that the Floridians are going about this all wrong. Apparently their legislation creates a $60 fine for those who persist in displaying the aforementioned bull gonads. However, as any guy knows, the most effective deterrent to displaying large testicles would instead be to require that those displaying them be forced to drive into a cold swimming pool. The offending parts would disappear immediately. Luckily, this solution has already been field-tested.



2 Responses to Dear Texas Legislators:

  1. El Jefe April 27, 2008 at 10:11 pm #

    I think we can manage to steer clear of this problem in Texas by simply requiring the display of real balls instead of fake ones.

  2. Anonymous May 6, 2008 at 12:50 am #

    You want it addressed in the Texas Legislature…let cheerleaders chant about it or put it on a T-shirt at Hooters. It will surely get Al Edwards’ and/or Bill Zedler’s attention. They might even prefile the bill.

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