This is a Investigative Report

Central Texas icon and former Austin mayoral candidate Leslie Cochran, as everybody in Austin knows, is the beloved famous cross-dressing homeless guy instrumental in the accuracy of the “Keep Austin Weird” mantra. However, despite Leslie’s penchant for wearing women’s clothing, many still wonder what team he plays for. IfyaknowwhatImean. investigative reporters working around-the-clock finally caught up with Leslie at the Pecan Street Festival this weekend, and have the answer. Photographic proof from our hidden camera reveals, based on his cheerleading uniform, that Leslie plays for the Cougars, which in Central Texas means Connally High School in Pflugerville.

This also suggests that Mr. Cochran could have problems with legal residency requirements should he again run for Mayor of Austin, since Pflugerville is its own municipality. Adding to his residency issues is the fact that he doesn’t have a residence. He does, however, have a MySpace page, which lists his income as “below $30,000,” and boasts 10,486 friends.

Calls to Mr. Cochran’s cardboard box in an alley were not returned, so we were unable to get a comment. School district sources tell us that a grief counselors will be made available to students at Connally High School this week.

This has been a investigative report.



7 Responses to This is a Investigative Report

  1. Mean Rachel May 5, 2008 at 3:49 am #

    Having seen Leslie in all his-her glory today I can confirm the following:
    1) he was wearing the same outfit again
    2) they were selling said Cougar outfits to any Tom, Dick or Leslie on the street as a way of making money.
    3) I drank too much today. Again.


  2. FUBAR May 5, 2008 at 1:45 pm #

    The same outfit two days in a row? Wow. Pretty ripe.

  3. El Jefe May 5, 2008 at 2:19 pm #

    Given that Leslie is a well-known anti-police protester, that means he was ripe for the picketing.

  4. Anonymous May 5, 2008 at 7:04 pm #

    ohhhhh, that was just bad. You owe somebody an apology for that.

  5. Anonymous May 6, 2008 at 12:17 am #

    Wicked and funny!!!! great reporting.

  6. Anonymous May 6, 2008 at 6:15 am #

    texas has produced many great cheerleaders-cum-politicos. add leslie to that illustrious list.

  7. Joe May 6, 2008 at 9:37 pm #

    My girlfriend is a teacher at Connally. Last week she told me there would be cheerleaders selling old uniforms and pom poms at the Pecan Street Festival to raise money.

    I said “That’s a bad idea, imagine all the creepy, pervy old dudes that would want an old cheerleader uniform.” She told me that parents would be buying them for their daughters to play dress up.

    Sadly, your investigative report has confirmed my theory. Ick.

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