Candidates, thanks for coming to class today. I know you’re working hard, and I appreciate your dedication to public service.
I know all of you hope you will win your elections. Unfortunately, that will only be possible for about half of you.
But at the very least, chances are great that you won’t end up like either of these two worthy opponents, one of whom is dead, and the other of whom must live with the pathetic reality that he lost an election to a dead guy.
Key quote from voter: “”I know he died, but I don’t want change.”