Candidate Training 101

Candidates, thanks for coming to class today. I know you’re working hard, and I appreciate your dedication to public service.

I know all of you hope you will win your elections. Unfortunately, that will only be possible for about half of you.

But at the very least, chances are great that you won’t end up like either of these two worthy opponents, one of whom is dead, and the other of whom must live with the pathetic reality that he lost an election to a dead guy.

Key quote from voter: “”I know he died, but I don’t want change.”

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4 Responses to Candidate Training 101

  1. Don't Mess w/ Pink June 18, 2008 at 4:08 pm #

    Those crazy Bucharestians.

  2. Anonymous June 18, 2008 at 4:46 pm #

    John Sharp first got elected to the Texas Senate by campaigning for a dead candidate. Sharp did not file in the race, sensing that another candidate was too strong. Before the election, that candidate died. Sharp then campaigned for his election anyway. The dead man won, forcing a new election in which Sharp was able to file and win.

  3. FUBAR June 18, 2008 at 4:49 pm #

    Anonymous – you’re exactly right. Also, former U.S. Attorney General and Professional Tool John Ashcroft once lost an election to a dead guy.

  4. Anonymous June 21, 2008 at 9:46 am #

    I think the continued “success” of perennial candidate Gene Kelly comes pretty close.

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