We deeply resent the implication

There have been news reports implying (!) that certain blogs (!) have perhaps played fast (!) and loose (!) with the facts concerning Sarah Palin, if that is indeed her real name. I beg to differ. For example, we haven’t even thought about repeating those unfounded rumors about the pregnant midget lesbian Eskimo being held hostage in the basement of the Palin family home. We wouldn’t think of it.

Well I’ve got news for you, you closet conservative, Palin-supporting, McCain-defending, Bush-loving, corporate news media-apologizing, so-called “reporters” who clearly hate freedom: here at Letters From Texas Worldwide Headquarters, we have convened an expert panel of experts, during which we have experted our expertise until we are blue in our expert faces. We have done the research, we have read all the materials, and we know exactly what we’re talking about.

We even have photographic evidence of our vast expert research. So we don’t want to hear any more of this unpleasantness about inaccuracies. Are we clear on this?

PS: in other news, did you know that Mary-Kate is cheating on her boyfriend? Or that Shannen Doherty is terrorizing the set of the new “90210?” You people really need to keep current on the research.



3 Responses to We deeply resent the implication

  1. Mean Rachel September 11, 2008 at 1:51 pm #

    clearly you didn’t read very closely. Doherty is leaving the set of 90210 after her contract.

  2. cyrus September 11, 2008 at 2:56 pm #

    won’t somebody pleeeease think of the children?!

  3. FUBAR September 11, 2008 at 9:00 pm #

    Cyrus – I thought that was Jerry Lewis’ job, every labor day.

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