Dear State of Texas:

On one hand, we seem to have a little problem with prison guards smuggling stuff in to prisoners.

On the other hand, we also occasionally have issues with public school teachers taking leave of their senses.

What is called for is some out-of-the-box thinking. This is so obvious, oh beloved State of Texas, I can’t believe you didn’t already think of it yourself.

Texas has lots of prison guards. Texas also has lots of teachers.

For a one-week trial period, effective immediately, all teachers will report to the prison nearest you for guard duty. Meanwhile, all prison guards will report to your nearest public school – you’ll be teaching classes.

I’m guessing it could be a win-win for both education and public safety. It’s also possible that neither the guards nor the teachers would notice a substantial difference.

I should bill you people for this stuff.



4 Responses to Dear State of Texas:

  1. Anonymous October 22, 2008 at 2:28 pm #

    Better idea: let the prisoners keep the cell phones and get rid of the “cell phone chargers.” It will drive them nuts.

  2. FUBAR October 22, 2008 at 2:31 pm #

    Somebody also emailed me to say “why didn’t we know of these prisoners with cell phones when we were looking for people to phone bank for the election??”

  3. whiskeydent October 22, 2008 at 10:01 pm #

    I dunno. I don’t think the CO’s (yes, I’m one of their hacks)could hack it, and I don’t think the prisoners could survive it.

    I mean, what happens if they send in my 8th grade algebra teacher? All of ’em would commit suicide within a month.

    And they’d die still not knowing if the big train beat the little truck to the freakin’ sh*hole station or why we should give a damn in the first place.

  4. FUBAR October 22, 2008 at 10:23 pm #

    Whiskeydent, that ain’t the kind of “can do” attitude that made this country great. Why do you hate freedom?

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