Recent news stories that just can’t be improved upon:
A judge is sentencing noise ordinance violators to listen to Barry Manilow.
A robber in the middle of a home invasion took a shotgun and very promptly blew his foot off. (East Texan alert?)
And finally, two people who found a college football game to be boring instead went to one of the stadium restrooms and got frisky, while being cheered on by onlookers – unfortunately for the woman’s husband and the man’s girlfriend, who were not involved. Incredibly, police say there was alcohol involved.