This is your Letters From Texas stupid news update.
First, Barry Manilow writes the songs that make the youngsters flee.
Next, a woman in Florida had a McNuggets emergency.
In other bad chain food news, it was bound to happen to that Chuck E. Cheese guy sooner or later.
And speaking of assaulting grown-ups in mascot suits, this particular assault is pretty ironic.
Sadly, there is absolutely no way we can blame Rick Perry for any of the above. Unless you think of something.
This has been your Letters From Texas stupid news update.