Attention candidates for public office

Your commitment to public service is admirable, but it will also be grueling. You'll blockwalk in the stifling Texas heat. You'll humiliate yourself begging for campaign contributions. You'll be attacked from all sides by people who will intentionally misrepresent your actions and motives. Your kids will ask if ugly charges leveled against you by opponents and reporters are true.

But at least here in Texas, a monkey probably won't urinate on you.