Your commitment to public service is admirable, but it will also be grueling. You'll blockwalk in the stifling Texas heat. You'll humiliate yourself begging for campaign contributions. You'll be attacked from all sides by people who will intentionally misrepresent your actions and motives. Your kids will ask if ugly charges leveled against you by opponents and reporters are true.
But at least here in Texas, a monkey probably won't urinate on you.
I will give 100 cash American dollars to anybody who can convince a candidate to run for the Texas Legislature, in any district, as a Republican or Democrat, whose name is legitimately the same as this guy's. We would never run out of punchlines.
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When I wrote the headline on this previous post, it was just a joke - neither PETA nor FoxNews had yet jumped on Obama for killing a fly. Even the pro-lifers had a moment of sanity, proving once again that they really don't mean it when they say "all life is sacred."
Then, PETA did indeed jump Obama. For swatting a fly. Seriously? You people are seriously eff'ed up.
I herein join with those who have courageously come before me to proclaim that "PETA" should stand for "People Eating Tasty Animals."
I herein lock arms with those who have courageously come before me to declare that if God had intended people to not eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat.
And, I herein express my disappointment with FoxNews and the pro-lifers for failing to weigh in on this Obama fly-killing situation in the wacked-out way I was counting on. That I know of. So far.
Meanwhile, that lobster that I ordered on my trip to Boston last weekend? He was delicious. The fact that I sent him to his eternal paradise in crustacean heaven early is my gift to animal lovers everywhere. He was served with drawn butter, which was undoubtedly obtained by the cruel manipulation of a very nice cow, which had probably befriended a cute little boy on a pristine farm somewhere in New England. They even threw in a few clams, one of which may have inexplicably had the I.Q. of Albert Einstein, and would have solved the world's problems had he been allowed to survive. Too damn bad. It was all very yummy.
Feel free to weigh in on the comments section regarding your reason why you think PETA is nuts.
Your commitment to public service is admirable, but it will also be grueling. You'll blockwalk in the stifling Texas heat. You'll humiliate yourself begging for campaign contributions. You'll be attacked from all sides by people who will intentionally misrepresent your actions and motives. Your kids will ask if ugly charges leveled against you by opponents and reporters are true.
But at least here in Texas, a monkey probably won't urinate on you.
I will give 100 cash American dollars to anybody who can convince a candidate to run for the Texas Legislature, in any district, as a Republican or Democrat, whose name is legitimately the same as this guy's. We would never run out of punchlines.
Read more...
When I wrote the headline on this previous post, it was just a joke - neither PETA nor FoxNews had yet jumped on Obama for killing a fly. Even the pro-lifers had a moment of sanity, proving once again that they really don't mean it when they say "all life is sacred."
Then, PETA did indeed jump Obama. For swatting a fly. Seriously? You people are seriously eff'ed up.
I herein join with those who have courageously come before me to proclaim that "PETA" should stand for "People Eating Tasty Animals."
I herein lock arms with those who have courageously come before me to declare that if God had intended people to not eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat.
And, I herein express my disappointment with FoxNews and the pro-lifers for failing to weigh in on this Obama fly-killing situation in the wacked-out way I was counting on. That I know of. So far.
Meanwhile, that lobster that I ordered on my trip to Boston last weekend? He was delicious. The fact that I sent him to his eternal paradise in crustacean heaven early is my gift to animal lovers everywhere. He was served with drawn butter, which was undoubtedly obtained by the cruel manipulation of a very nice cow, which had probably befriended a cute little boy on a pristine farm somewhere in New England. They even threw in a few clams, one of which may have inexplicably had the I.Q. of Albert Einstein, and would have solved the world's problems had he been allowed to survive. Too damn bad. It was all very yummy.
Feel free to weigh in on the comments section regarding your reason why you think PETA is nuts.
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