FROM: Rahm Emanuel
TO: White House Message Team
SUBJECT: Tonight’s State-of-the-Union Address
Team, sorry if I seem a bit disjointed in this memo, but some glitch in the White House email system means that one wrong keystroke on my end, and instead of this going to you, it will end up on Harold Cook’s stupid blog down in that God-forsaken Texas. The I.T. people are looking into it, and the glitch should soon be solved.
That aside, I have absolutely no reason to believe that the President’s speech tonight won’t be stellar. He intends to re-connect with the middle class. He’ll talk a lot about jobs and the economy, and he’ll remind voters why they supported us in the first place.
But just in case the speech falls flat, here are some things to remember, as you talk to reporters.
First, people need to know that if tonight’s speech falls flat, it’s no reflection on the White House or the Democratic majority in Congress. Rather, it’s Martha Coakley’s fault. The details of that will be covered later, but trust me – it’s because of something she did.
Second, the American public needs to be reminded that if they don’t like the President’s state-of-the-union speech tonight, it’s no surprise. Because, after all, President Obama inherited a really crappy state-of-the-union speech from George Bush. People should understand that it’s just going to take some time to edit out the failed state-of-the-union speeches from the previous administration, and they should be reminded that the state-of-the-union speech is already much better than it was just one year ago when we took office.
But again, I believe these contingency message components will be completely unnecessary, because I know that President Obama will deliver a speech tonight which will make all the Blue Dogs in Congress so proud they’ll want to wag their tails and lick their privates. I hope they mention how much they liked the speech, as they go to the bar later to belt down a few with their favorite insurance company and defense contractor lobbyists.