This is census week. I, for one, am celebrating by decorating the census tree, wrapping census gifts, and singing census carols. If you don’t get a census card from me, it probably means I think you’re annoying.
Also, I requested a bunch of extra pages from the Census Bureau, and mailed in my forms yesterday. I claimed to have over 650,000 people living in my house, and they’re all Hispanic. That way, my address will ultimately be its own Congressional district and most of a state Senate district, and it’s all covered under the Voting Rights Act. My back yard will soon be the site of a new post office, a Federal courthouse, an entire school district, and a hot lesbian strip club frequented by Republican operatives.
Apparently the rest of you are lagging far behind. A glance at the Census Bureau website this morning says that the national participation rate is currently at 46 percent, while Texas’ current participation rate is currently at 39 percent, which mirrors Rick Perry’s supporters’ participation rate in his last election.
According to projections, if Texans are well-counted, we should get an additional four Congressional seats. If we’re not, we’ll only get three. If Texans aren’t well-counted, we will be short-changed a cool billion bucks in federal funding for crucial programs.
At the moment, the only thing holding Texas back is Texans. And the Texan holding us back the most is Rick Perry, who couldn’t be bothered with appointing a state “complete count” census committee early in the process like 18 other states did, to help make sure Texans return their census form. This, despite Texas being the second to most undercounted state in the 2000 census.
Get off your ass and mail in your census form. It’s important.