I don’t feel so well

Several years ago, Rush Limbaugh announced he was going deaf.

Now, Glenn Beck claims he is going blind.

In a related development, Letters From Texas Worldwide Headquarters’ marketing department has determined that FUBAR needs his own medical condition in order to raise his profile by pathetically creating sympathy from among the crap-reading public.

The possible medical conditions have been narrowed down to priapism, restless legs syndrome, supernumerary nipple syndrome, or hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia.

Weigh in on your preference or suggest another tragic medical condition in the comments section.

Comments

comments

5 Responses to I don’t feel so well

  1. Anonymous July 20, 2010 at 2:02 pm #

    Whiskdent. I think this is your cue!

  2. whiskeydent July 20, 2010 at 2:50 pm #

    Punarrhea: a condition characterized by the expulsion of three or more potty-mouthed puns per day

  3. FUBAR July 20, 2010 at 2:52 pm #

    …and don’t call me “Shirley.”

  4. creativehavoc July 28, 2010 at 7:36 pm #

    Rupophobia…
    An ailment facing not so much you… but more likely your loyal and few readers.
    GSB

    (Noun)
    Rupophobia
    The fear of rubbish or dirt.

  5. Derek July 30, 2010 at 1:55 pm #

    You could one up Beck and Limbaugh by going for the big trifecta, deaf, dumb, and blind. Call it the Tommy syndrome or Pinball Wizardism. Be the leader of your own messianic movement. Beck and Limbaugh would be considered pikers compared to you.

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