Archive | October, 2010

Who needs Rick Perry?

This house cat for Governor!

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Voting scammers and the doorhangers they rode in on

Miya Shay, of Houston’s KTRK-TV, reported on an illegal anonymous Republican scam to dupe African-American voters in Houston into not voting a straight Democratic ticket. The anonymous door hangers falsely explain to voters that all they must do to vote a straight Democratic ticket is to cast their vote for Bill White. This, of course, is designed to cheat voters out of casting their ballot for any down-ballot Democrat.

I applaud Channel 13’s efforts to educate voters and explain to them that the only way to cast a straight Democratic ticket vote is to show up in person at a polling place between now and Tuesday, November 2nd, sign in at the polling place, and mark your ballot for a straight Democratic ticket vote.

It is unfortunate, however, that Channel 13 only explained the process for Democrats. As a public service to you, the crap-reading public, Letters From Texas Worldwide HQ, Public Affairs Division, will now explain the process for other voters. Please feel free to clip and save.

Republican Party voters: in order to streamline the process and make it more convenient for you to vote a straight Republican ticket vote, Governor Perry has inked an arrangement with Facebook. So please, do NOT go to a polling place, either during the early voting period or on election day. Instead, you will be receiving an email notification from Facebook inviting you to install the “Let’s Vote!” Facebook application. Once installed, not only can you cast your vote from the comfort of your own computer without ever leaving the house, but you can also remind your Republican friends to vote via Facebook as well! Nothing could be easier – and it’s just a little “thank you” gift from Governor Rick Perry, the social media candidate!

Libertarian Party voters: instead of voting on Tuesday, November 2, your designated day to vote is Wednesday, November 3. This has been done to afford you the convenience of not having to stand in long lines on the regular election day. So please go to your neighborhood polling place the day after the normal election day to cast your ballot for the Libertarian Party!

Green Party voters: there’s great news for Green Party voters! The same people who fund Republican candidates, and who paid to get your candidates on the ballot in the first place, have been kind enough to fund the “voting fairies!” These voting fairies will actually come to your house, knock on your door, and hand you a ballot already pre-voted for all the Green Party candidates! All you have to do is sign it, and hand it back to the voting fairy. You, my friends, don’t have to do one damn thing! You know, same as the rest of this year! Just don’t get impatient – your voting fairy may not show up until close to 7 pm on election day, but don’t worry, they’ll be there!

I hope this clarifies the voting process for voting a straight ticket ballot for any political party in this election. This has been your Letters From Texas Public Service Announcement.

Note: this is a political satire blog. Do not take this seriously. Go vote, in person, at an actual polling place, by 7 pm on election day.

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Indications that we are very near the end of civilization as we know it

Letters From Texas Worldwide Headquarters, Research and Development Division, has been working feverishly toward the next step in 21st century cutting edge blog technology, and we have every expectation that soon, we will be rolling out the latest new feature to enhance the blog-reading pleasure of you, the crap-reading public.

And by that of course I mean scratch-and-sniff blogging.

But we still have a couple of technical issues yet to work through, so until then, here’s the next best thing: scratch-and-sniff political mail.

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Tea Party members unclear on the “limited government” concept

You know how the Tea Party people are always moaning and groaning that “we don’t need no stinkin’ gu’mint”?

Did you hear about the Rand Paul supporter who pinned down the progressive activist at a Rand Paul rally and stomped on her head, and it was all caught on video?

Guess who that guy is blaming? He blames the government for not stopping him from stomping on her head.

Keepin’ it classy.

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Letters From Texas crime report

This has been your Letters From Texas crime report.

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Weekly TPA blog roundup

The Texas Progressive Alliance hopes you all have voted or will be voting soon as it brings you this week’s blog roundup.

This week at McBlogger, we take a look at the increasingly desperate campaign being run by Todd Staples. On Friday they attempted to eavesdrop on a conference call line if that tells you much. You simply won’t believe the rest

Off the Kuff published his last interview of this cycle, with Democratic gubernatorial candidate Bill White.

Bay Area Houston would vote for Proposition 1 in Houston if….

Ever wonder why republicans have gotten so batsh*t crazy? CouldBeTrue of South Texas Chisme thinks they’re locked inside their own tiny, tiny minds.

The news of the week in Harris County spread all across the country: well-fed Caucasian conservatives are going places they’ve never gone before — minority early voting polling locations — and doing their damndest to keep as few of ‘those people’ from casting a ballot as possible. PDiddie at Brains and Eggs kept the story up to date.

WCNews at Eye On Williamson shows the choice for governor comes down to this very simple issue, We must end Perry’s unprecedented time as governor – he’s been in office too long.

Martha Griffin at musings has questions about Prop 1 on the ballot in Houston. Why the lack of details about the plan and where is the political muscle to get this passed?

BossKitty at TruthHugger just decided to vent about the direction this election is trying to take this country … with me in it – Federal Government in the crosshairs ñ OpEd.

Public Citizen is getting into the fray over early voting and intimidation activities across the state, with a press release and conference Monday afternoon in Houston with the League of Women Voters and a blog over at TexasVox. Keep watching for more coverage as this story continues to develop.

Len Hart at BlueBloggin looks at A Party of Panic and Depression, the Republican world of economics, death and destruction, K-Street and war. The administration of Ronald Reagan ushered in a depression of some two years. A depression of some two years, a contraction of the economy, a transfer of wealth upward to the upper quintile, the nationís richest 20 percent. A windfall of this nature is not stimulus to invest but, rather, to transfer the gains offshore.

Lightseeker reports that, according to a recent Gallup Poll, Latinos, Asians, Native Americans…basically our non-white/non-black population…are going to vote for the Republicans in this election by a 52%-42% margin. Turns out that polling on this mid-term election has some serious problems. There is more at The Polls are Off and Nobody Knows by How Much!

Neil at Texas Liberal offered his election endorsements for Texas in 2010. And for good measure, Neil, a long-time resident of Ohio, also made endorsements for Ohio.

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Worst Excuse In The World award winner

Dumb: woman gets pregnant while husband is overseas.

Dumber: woman blames watching 3D porn movie for getting pregnant.

Dumbest: it appears from his quotes that hubby is tempted to believe her.

Personally the whole thing seems far-fetched to me, but it’s fun to pass it on anyway.

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Re-molect me for State Bord of Edumocashun

Juanita Jean has one of the funniest blogs in Texas, and if you’re not already reading it, don’t come back here ’til you have.

Here’s one she caught that I wish I had: you know that Ken Mercer guy, who wants you to re-elect him to the State Board of Education? Turns out he can’t even spell the word “campaign.”

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Letters From Texas spent most of the week pointing to Republican efforts to scapegoat and alienate minorities, first pointing out both Parties’ failure to communicate effectively with Hispanic voters, then pointing out Republicans’ blatant attempts to prevent them from voting, and showing that they’d planned to do it in Texas too. Most shocking, however, was the release of a photo of the most disturbing political sign in Texas.

Letters From Texas pointed out a low-down dirty Republican plot to cheat African-American voters out of casting their ballots, then turned around and did the same thing to voters casting ballots for Republicans, Libertarians, and Greens.

A day after the election, Letters From Texas identified dark clouds on the horizon for victorious Republicans. Later in the week, he detailed the first cloud up to bat: the state budget.

Letters From Texas explained a fundamental truth to state Senator Dan Patrick: that democracy is about more than two wolves and one sheep voting on what’s for dinner.

Letters From Texas temporarily abandoned Texas politics in favor of seeking answers to the important questions surrounding the Transportation Safety Administration’s touching of our junk.

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FUBAR-Cam update, overt racism division

In the mood for further evidence as to what may be feeding Republican enthusiasm in this election?

This disgusting photo was taken yesterday in East Texas.

At this point, why are you surprised? Instead, why don’t you just send the link to this page to your entire social network, and tell them to go vote today, in order to end trash like this?

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Republicans to Hispanics: drop dead, Part 2

Yesterday I commented on a Republican voter suppression effort designed to dupe Hispanic voters into not voting in this election. Today there are new details which bring this scandal home to Texas.

This national stories on this disgrace have emphasized that the ads in question were to run in Nevada, before TV networks rejected them as the anti-American trash that they are.

Now, according to a news report from MSNBC, it is known that the ads were intended to run in several other states, including Texas:

The Republican group Latinos for Reform had planned to eventually run the commercials in Nevada, Florida, California, Texas and Colorado through the Nov. 2 election.

Now that the issue has been laid at the doorstep of Texas Republicans, Republicans in Texas should immediately be called upon to either embrace the ads, or denounce them.

[h/t to Mule Breath for pointing us in the right direction]

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Republicans to Hispanics: drop dead

I am, bluntly, not noticing any particular success Democratic candidates are having in exciting or motivating Hispanic voters this election. But what shortcomings funded statewide Texas Democrats may have in connecting with Hispanics may not matter – Republicans may well do Democrats’ work for them.

I imagine that a lot of people in Hispanic communities are well-aware that Republican officeholders say all the right(wing) code words their entire time in office which amount to scapegoating Hispanics in one way or another, make sure their deeds match those code words, then turn around and ask Hispanics for their vote come election time. I also imagine that most Hispanics who pay attention completely get the drill, and as a result those who vote overwhelmingly support Democrats.

But Democratic candidates haven’t exactly been lighting the world on fire with motivational messages aimed at these voters either. Depending on the election or the candidate, the message falls flat, seems contrived, or doesn’t exist.

I recently talked to a close friend in a position to know a lot about Hispanic communities. “Every election, candidates get on the airwaves telling Hispanics that if we support them, the candidate will create more jobs. Then after the elections, we Hispanics always get all the crappy jobs. Stop telling us about jobs, because everybody knows it’s bullshit,” she said.

“What Democrats should be doing is ripping Republicans’ heads off for what Republicans believe about us, and for what they do to our communities.” And she was just getting warmed up.

Far too often, what ultimately happens is that Democratic candidates give a weak nod toward politely communicating to these voters, assuming the whole time that nothing they say will ultimately motivate them to vote in large percentages anyway. While that’s happening, Republicans put substantial resources into communicating to Hispanics, hoping to cut their losses by making Hispanics forget all the bad stuff they’ve done, or threatened to do, to their communities, in the years leading up to the election.

The result is completely predictable and rational: a high percentage of Hispanic voters shrug their shoulders, skip the election, and go about their day, because both sides have made absolutely sure that nothing about the election rings true or makes a difference.

But never fear, Democrats, because Republicans are taking up your slack.

An enterprising Republican consultant finally took an honesty pill and suggested that Republicans try something different – instead of putting messages on the air aimed at Hispanics which are designed to make those voters forget the extent to which Republicans screw them over, they finally just skipped a step – they’ve designed a message that just flat-out suggests that Hispanics shouldn’t vote at all.

In other words, Republicans screwed up and put on the air what they’ve been discussing privately in the strategy meetings for years.

Texas Republicans may answer that the incident didn’t happen here, so it’s irrelevant. But those will be the same Republicans who have been trying to nationalize this election all year long, so what happens elsewhere in America they get to own here in Texas, whether they like it or not.

This mis-step may well ring so utterly true to Hispanics that it might be a catalyst for Hispanics all over the country to vote in high percentages. “I’m trying to screw you over by convincing you to decline to participate in your own screwing” is, truly, a strong motivation to answer “no mas, mo-fo.”

Never before has their been such an overt and unmistakable tone from Republican candidates to Hispanics of we don’t want you here, and pay no attention – this has nothing to do with you. People wouldn’t even accept that tone at the dinner table from their own children, much less over the airwaves from those who would be their elected representatives.

That which has long been plausibly denied thus becomes the undeniable, and the implications will not be lost on Hispanic Americans. It’s now more clear than ever that Republicans believe it is their manifest destiny to govern, but that their plan can only work if Hispanics don’t participate in their own government.

It has long been true that when Democrats win, it is often only after Republicans have inadvertently helped them win. This may be one of those times. When it comes to Hispanic voters, while Democrats have done an abysmal job in this arena, Republicans may have really screwed the pooch this time.

Wait, but there’s more! See Part Two.

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No-names in the news

A couple of endorsements went by yesterday which aren’t worth noting. But we here at Letters From Texas Worldwide Headquarters often note the un-notable.

First, Farouk Shami, who earlier this year garnered a massive Democratic primary vote encompassing the overwhelming majority of his own campaign staff, endorsed Republican Rick Perry yesterday. The endorsement wasn’t worth noting, even by us, until I saw this photo from the event.

When I saw the photo, I have the overwhelming feeling that I had seen that photo before. Then it hit me – I had indeed seen that exact photo before – it’s from the movie “Airplane”:

“Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?”

In other news regarding Democratic endorsements involving people who aren’t Democrats, a friend of mine received a postcard in the mail yesterday announcing Kinky Friedman’s endorsement for Democratic Supreme Court nominee Jim “NotSo” Sharp, who I’ve pointedly written about before:
If this is NotSo’s big winning message. that’s fine I guess, but I don’t see how he can do any better than his award-winning campaign website, which more accurately reflects every single reason a voter might be attracted to him.

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Headline of the day so far

Those wacky elected officials.

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Weekly TPA blog round-up

The Texas Progressive Alliance is fired up and ready to vote as it brings you this week’s blog roundup.

Off the Kuff has interviews with Linda Chavez-Thompson and Barbara Radnofsky.

CouldBeTrue of South Texas Chisme thinks breathing benzene, sulfur dioxide and other pollutants is bad. Why doesn’t the TCEQ agree?

The Texas Cloverleaf posts on Blog Action Day about clean water in the Barnett shale.

WCNews at Eye On Williamson points our that there a still many unanswered questions regarding Gov. Perry and a special favor for a mega donor, The drip, drip, drip continues for Perry’s mega-donor problem.

The King Street Patriot extremists are breaking the law again in Harris County. A lot more voter suppression and intimidation is in store from these thugs. Brains and Eggs has the details, including the link to the video of TeaBaggin’ Jim Murphy (he’s going to lose to Kristi Thibaut again) doing the honors.

Neil at Texas Liberal can’t imagine that the people of Houston might wish to get rid of Red Light Cameras. Our roads in Houston are already filled with drunks and crazies. Why would we want to make things even worse by making it easier to run red lights and get away with it? Neil urges folks in Houston to vote Yes on Prop. 3 and help keep our streets somewhat less bloody than they might otherwise become.

Intrepid Intern Ali Rawaf and Campaign Finance Curmudgeon Andy Wilson team up at TexasVox to remind you that early voting starts today, Monday, Oct 18, by giving you the sobering truth of who exactly is financing our Congressional midterm campaigns and what special favors they will want if you let their chosen candidates get into office. This is the first in a series– keep an eye on TexasVox in the next 2 weeks for more in-depth looks at who’s financing the Texas Governor’s race, races for Ag Commissioner and Railroad Commissioner, and the Third Court of Appeals– and maybe others.

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