Archive | November, 2011

Ron Paul grows up

A perfectly-timed communication can be a game-changer. This may be one of those times. Take a look at the new Ron Paul ad attacking Newt Gingrich, if you haven’t already seen it as it virally screams across the interwebz this afternoon:

This ad is a brilliant attack, not over-done, credible, and may be perfectly timed to coincide with the probability that Gingrich, the Republican poll leader-of-the-week, may be wearing thin on Republican primary voters as his record is closely scrutinized, as the record of anybody in the lead would be.

But it’s the fact that it’s a Ron Paul ad that makes it most interesting. Clearly Paul wants to be the next in batting order for leader-of-the-week, and this ad may not only shorten Gingrich’s week, but also signal to voters that Paul is ready to be a grown-up and play with the big dogs.

It will be interesting to see how the tracking polls change trajectory for each man in the next few days. Stay tuned – we may be nearing the end of Gingrich’s 15 minutes of fame, if favor of yet another Republican hopeful’s play to be the Republican alternative to Mitt Romney.

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Most creative police report of the day so far

Also, it’s the least inquisitive journalist of the day so far.

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Campaign News Briefs

Herman Cain rumored to be mulling exit from race

Herman Cain (R-eally horny) is rumored to have told his campaign staff this morning during a conference call that he may soon exit the race for President, in the wake of news exposing another woman who has come forward to claim impropriety involving the candidate.

A Cain staffer, after returning from an extended smoke break, confirmed the news, and said they are preparing a statement from the candidate in the event he opts to withdraw. The statement will reportedly claim that Cain is withdrawing from the race to spend more time with his wife and family, his girlfriends, his female employees, the hottie who works at the Starbucks down the street, and “a couple of chicks I met on Craigslist.”

Arizona Sheriff endorses Rick Perry

Controversial Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio, in a joint appearance today with Texas Governor Rick Perry (R-idiculous), enthusiastically endorsed the Governor for President.

In a move that visibly surprised Perry and his campaign staff, the Sheriff, who is under investigation by the U.S. Department of Justice, then arrested Perry and ordered his immediate deportation.

The Governor, shaken by the turn of events, was in the middle of his remarks at the event, during which he promised the New Hampshire crowd that as President, he would build a border fence protecting them from illegal immigration of Democrats from Vermont and Massachusetts.

Arpaio, known for his tough stance on illegal immigration, obviously hopes his endorsement of Perry will help the Texas Governor overcome heat he has taken from Republican primary voters upset that Perry supports in-state tuition for undocumented immigrants.

Those Republican voters, however, seem completely unaware that tuition at Texas colleges and universities has grown under Perry’s administration to be roughly an amount equaling the Gross National Product of Saudi Arabia and Dubai combined. As of press time, it was unclear why Perry hasn’t taken credit for punishing these immigrants so harshly by charging them this laughably inflated tuition rate.

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Redistricting reaction from the cheap seats

As I write this, the Federal 3-judge panel in San Antonio has just released a preliminary interim Congressional map, and has just released it’s final ordered interim maps for the state House and Senate.

Republican reaction to the maps released so far has been scathing and instant. They are shocked – SHOCKED – that “activist federal judges” would go so far.

It’s both amusing and sad to watch the Republican gnashing of teeth in reaction to the court’s maps. The Voting Rights Act to which Texas must adhere should be no surprise – it was enacted in the 1960′s. The system of judicial review is not new either. What seems to be new is the Republican arrogance that they can draw anything they want, mowing down any group of voters who oppose them, and expect rubber stamps from the folks charged with reviewing the maps for legality.

The judicial panel, made up of two Republicans and one Democrat, didn’t step in to help Democrats, or hurt Republicans. Neither did the Republican Federal panel in the D.C. circuit which precipitated the San Antonio panel drawing the interim maps. The federal courts stepped in to enforce the Voting Rights Act, to ensure that the rights of minority Texans are protected.

That so many in the Republican political establishment consider that to be terrible news is precisely why so many minority Texans reject Republican candidates for office.

If the Texas Republicans in charge didn’t work so hard full-time to alienate minority Texans, they would have nothing to fear in asking minority Texans for their votes come election time. Their preferred option, however, is to divide those minority voters and make their opinions meaningless. Thankfully, the court has reminded us this week that it is illegal.

Minorities are almost single-handedly responsible for Texas’ population growth. It’s time for Republicans to man-up and recognize their moral obligation to be responsive to the concerns of these dynamic and fast-growing communities.

Until they do, they will continue to be hammered at the polls by the voters whose voices they tried to silence.

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A guy named “Newt” shouldn’t be too picky about words

Newt Gingrich has repeatedly said during debates that he wants English as the official language of the United States.

I, for one, am deeply insulted at the fundamental insensitivity of this vicious attack…on Rick Perry.

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Perry’s hail mary

So Rick Perry, pummeled in the polls, most recently because he can’t complete a sentence, is suddenly against career politicians who enrich themselves due to their public service.

Perry: sumthin’s gotta work

No, wait – you need to read that more slowly, and think it through: Rick Perry…is against career politicians…who enrich themselves…due to their public service. That’s like Santa Claus being damn tired of all that Christmas stuff.

This would be the same Rick Perry who has lived in public housing for years, who was a man of modest means when he got his first government job back before your punk-ass teenager was born.

He thinks people in Congress work too hard, and wants to give them some time off. He thinks the Federal judges should all go home. Actually, in Scalia’s case, I’ll spot him that one.

But mostly what he thinks is that he’s a desperate man, whom Republican voters have already resoundingly rejected, but who, perhaps not for nothing, has some hope that he’ll get a second chance.

He may well get his chance. The pizza guy is history, and Newt is on minute number 13.5. In Republican primary voters’ never-ending quest to avoid thinking too much about The Commie Health Care Mormon, they’re either about to force themselves to take another last look at The Wackadoodle From Texas, or The Other Crazy Woman Who Isn’t Palin. Or perhaps Huntsman, who is so utterly boring he is nickname-less.

President Obama undoubtedly sleeps just fine at night.

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(Poorly worded) Headline of the day so far

Don’t most people use a gun or knife?

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Texas progressive blog round-up

The Texas Progrogressive Alliance is beginning to think fond thoughts of cranberry dressing, pumpkin pie, and, um, something else it can’t quite recall – oops! – as it brings you this week’s blog roundup.

Off the Kuff took a tour of Houston elections from the 1990s to see how they compared to more modern matchups.

Following Rick Perry’s latest gaffes, Letters From Texas explains why Perry has become such a hopeless band nerd that the crazy girl who can’t get a prom date pities him.

Darth Politico commemorates Veterans Day with a discussion about the history of Red Tape and veterans benefits. Emphasis on Red.

WCNews at Eye On Williamson points out that Republicans in Texas are boxed-in. They know know taxes must be raised to run our state’s government, but can’t bring themselves to say it, Texas GOP’s cowardice.

On the same night Houston Mayor Annise Parker celebrated barely being re-elected, a few blocks away the HPD arrested seven Occupy Houstonians for refusing to move a tarp which the police called a tent. PDiddie at Brains and Eggs doesn’t think that’s a great way to start a second term … unless she plans on again representing the 1%, that is.

BossKitty at TruthHugger sees another disappointing campaign season. Inundated with Republican this and Tea Party that, BossKitty is embarrassed by what we are hearing. Republican Whack A Mole Misses the Point. Some economic guru is writing the script for each candidate to spout as the Only way to get back on track, because it is always Obama’s fault. We all know it was Obama’s fault even before he was born. But some of the solutions totally miss the big picture.

Bay Area Houston is remembering on Veterans Day on how we have continue to screw our Veterans.

CouldBeTrue of South Texas Chisme notes that BP wants the government to hide data while celebrating the end of its cleanup responsibility. This week: crony capitalists 2; regular citizens 0.

Lightseeker at TexasKaos gives a brief summary of the GOP voter suppression campaign gearing up for 2012. Check it out: Voter Suppression Update 2011.

Neil at Texas Liberal attended an Occupy Houston press conference about OH participants arrested by Houston police for covering up electrical equipment with a tarp during a rainstorm. If only Occupy efforts across the nation had the same First Amendment protections as large anonymous corporate political donations enjoy under the Citizens United case.

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Following Rick Perry’s latest gaffes, Letters From Texas explains why Perry has become such a hopeless band nerd that the crazy girl who can’t get a prom date pities him.

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Rick Perry’s campaign unable to overcome Rick Perry

I have been among the Democrats most bullish on Rick Perry’s odds of catching on with Republican primary voters. Even as Perry’s fortunes have faltered, I have cautioned over and over again that Perry’s not done. I’ve usually qualified my position with, “assuming Perry doesn’t screw himself up even more.”

Last night, Perry screwed himself up even more. Even Michelle Bachmann said she feels sorry for him. Let that sink in. Perry has become such a hopeless band nerd that the crazy girl who can’t get a prom date pities him.

Perry seemingly has everything going for him. He has a very good campaign team. He has the money to compete. He has the organization to sustain and capitalize on a lead. He also has a fourth thing, but I can’t remember what it is. Oops.

The only thing the Perry campaign is missing? A candidate.

Perry probably blew any possibility of the nomination last night, as he spectacularly screwed himself up in the CNBC debate. Granted, most Republican primary voters didn’t watch the debate, but the opinion leaders in the Republican Party did, and the gaffe clip will undoubtedly go viral, in that “Holy God in Heaven, what an embarrassment this clown is!” sort of way.

Perry’s campaign team will try to make the best of it, and they’re already into full-out crisis management mode. It will only serve to remind voters that Perry is a one-man federal disaster area that FEMA couldn’t even move in and mop up off the floor.

Presidential campaigns generally don’t quit until the money runs out, so I’m guessing we have several more weeks to either look on as Rick Perry further embarrasses himself and the State of Texas, or — and this is the longest of long shots — several more weeks as Perry’s campaign slowly fixes what Perry himself has broken.

But the Vegas odds fundamentally changed last night. Republican voters will feel they’ve given Rick Perry more than enough chances to prove himself. Instead, Perry has only succeeded in proving himself to be completely unqualified.

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Letters From Texas News Briefs

Herman Cain: another day, another woman

Yesterday, famed attorney Gloria Allred hosted a press conference in New York, in which she introduced the most recent of several women to accuse Republican Presidential candidate Herman Cain of sexual harassment. The woman, Sharon Bialek, described behavior which, if true, would cross the line from simple harassment to sexual assault.

However, moments after the press conference, a jury in the trial of Michael Jackson’s doctor returned a guilty verdict in the doctor’s involuntary manslaughter trial, resulting in mass confusion nation-wide in which Americans now believe that Herman Cain’s latest accuser says Michael Jackson’s doctor molested Gloria Allred’s client while high on Rick Perry’s pain killers, or something.

Later yesterday, Mr. Cain appeared on a late night talk show, during which he confirmed that his wife is actually a Democrat, which explains why his wife is the first confirmed woman that Cain has reportedly not tried to sleep with.

Cain has scheduled a 3 pm press conference today in Phoenix, during which his head is scheduled to explode.

It’s official: Oklahoma possessed by Devil

Eyebrows were raised yesterday in Oklahoma, when on a single day the state experienced floods, hail, tornadoes, and another earthquake. The state had experienced an earthquake last Sunday as well.

Adding to local confusion, Satan announced that he will hold a press conference today at noon in Oklahoma City, where he is expected to take responsibility for the unusual events and formally claim the state as his own. The move is considered a mere formality, since Oklahoma has long been considered Hell.

In a related move, the Tulsa City Council is scheduled to meet later this week in a special called hearing, at which they will consider a move recommended by the local chamber of commerce to re-name the city “Sucking Eddy of Despair.” While the name change has little local opposition, officials in both Branson, Missouri and the entire state of Iowa have threatened to sue Tulsa for trademark violation if the Tulsa City Council moves forward with their plan.

Election day in Texas

Texas voters will head to the polls today to vote on several state Constitutional amendments and in local school board and municipal elections. Turnout is projected to be low in the election, which features several relatively low-profile measures. Perhaps the highest profile item up for consideration is the Houston mayor’s race, in which incumbent Mayor Anise Parker is expected to coast to re-election with approximately 10,000 percent of the vote.

While Texas Governor Rick Perry is not on today’s ballot in Texas, several pollsters say that Perry will get just about as many votes in Texas today as he should expect in the New Hampshire Republican primary in January.

This esteemed publication recommends a vote in favor of Proposition 8, the water conservation measure.

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Anti-social media

A few of you are taking Facebook a little too seriously.

Also, I note with interest that this happened in the first-in-the-nation state for deciding who the Republican nominee for President will be, which sounds just about perfect.

I’m guessing this woman will be losing a few more friends in the very near future.

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Texas progressive blog round-up

The Texas Progressive Alliance reminds you that the right to complain about the results of an election are directly connected to having voted in it as it brings you this week’s roundup.

Off the Kuff has a school finance lawsuit update.

CouldBeTrue of South Texas Chisme catches Greg Abbott being a blithering hypocrite.

Shocker! Hold the presses: Herman Cain and Rick Perry each discover that running for President is hard! Letters From Texas weighs in.

BossKitty at TruthHugger is awakened from a 2011 blog sleep. Lead up to the 2012 Presidential Campaign is disgusting already. Nothing is as it seems and candidates are fluent in fairy-tales. The distance between the educated voter and the uneducated voter is huge. Guess which group holds the majority … Campaign Season Op Ed: BossKitty Awakens

There don’t appear to be any obvious winners in the wake of Rick Perry’s implosion and Herman Cain’s Black Walnut meltdown, according to PDiddie at Brains and Eggs. Unless you count Mitt Romney and Barack Obama, that is. And they were winning beforehand.

WCNews at Eye On Williamson posts on the insanity of tax talk in Texas. We can’t keep doing the same thing and expecting different results, Texas tax facts.

Irritated by road construction? McBlogger says don’t blame TXDOT, blame the contractors.

Neil at Texas Liberal noted the unexpected passing of an old friend with a reminder that if you value someone in life, you should contact them now.

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Oklahomans on parade

Well, Oklahoma had themselves a little earthquake while I was up in Dallas this weekend. The shaking either didn’t make it as far south as Dallas, or I just wasn’t paying attention, but either way I didn’t feel a thing.

But this fine gentleman from Oklahoma did. And he makes me laugh.

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Shocker! Hold the presses: Herman Cain and Rick Perry discover that Presidential races play rough! Letters From Texas weighs in.

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