America demands an explanation

Here's a news flash that perhaps Herman Cain or Rick Perry might have invested a little time mulling over before they bothered to throw their hats into the ring and run for President:

Politics is rough.

One would have thought that at least Governor Perry might have caught on to that fundamental truth, long about the time he once falsely accused an opponent of being a DEA agent-murdering money launderer.

But no, the fact that politics is a rough and tumble full-contact sport was apparently a complete surprise to the Perry camp, as witnessed by Mrs. Perry's recent "people are picking on us" tear-up-athon.

Now it's Herman Cain's turn. Upon people finding out that he did something (we still don't really know what) to some women (we still don't really know who) back when he was totally proving up his qualifications to be the President of the United States by shilling for crappy restaurant chains (we don't really know why), Cain first claimed he didn't remember anything about "it" (whatever "it" is), then claimed that oops, he does remember "it", but that "it" never happened.

Now Cain, rather than discussing "it," is attempting to change the subject away from the actual "it," to a discussion about who brought "it" to the public's attention. And he lays "it" at the feet of the aforementioned Rick Perry. No word yet if Perry's campaign has scheduled Mrs. Perry to whine about this yet. They've been too busy explaining that bizarre video of last Friday's Perry speech by stressing the point that Rick Perry does not - they repeat NOT - need to be under the influence of alcohol to act like a damn fool.

Best we can tell, whatever "it" that Cain may or may not have done caused the Restaurant Association to pay a woman or two, but maybe three, to go away. We don't know why they didn't opt to pay Herman Cain to go away, thus saving the country a lot of trouble, as well as saving us all from having to read really vague, somewhat disturbing, and utterly boring news accounts of "it."

Herman Cain is now pulling a Clarence Thomas, with the help of Mrs. Clarence Thomas, and is letting the world know that he is the real victim here, in between "jokes" about electrocuting Mexicans. I'm just guessing here, but I bet that the revelation that Cain is the real victim comes as a complete surprise to the women at the Restaurant Association who had to go find new work.

Personally, I would advise Republican primary voters to delay making judgements on this one. Cain didn't even remember anything happening at first. But his partial recovery from amnesia may in time lead to him remembering precisely what he did. Also, it may lead to him remembering what that last "9" means in his big economic plan.

There are several ways this could get interesting. One of the women might go public with the details. Or maybe the tabloids might come forward with details they just make up. Or maybe an enterprising reporter will prove that Perry really did leak the story, which would not be a credibility-inducing moment for a campaign which has already flatly denied it had anything to do with it.

Either way, pop some popcorn and grab a comfy seat - the long knives are out, and the silly season is upon us.