In case you missed it...

Monday, February 7, 2011

Somebody should have nominated Letters From Texas

The City of Austin asked citizens a simple enough question: help us rename the city's solid waste department. The department takes care of garbage, recycling, street sweeping, that sort of thing.

With a question that wide-open, you had to know that the "Keep Austin Weird" crowd would not disappoint. The overwhelming favorite at the moment is the Fred Durst Society of the Humanities and Arts, with almost 26,000 votes.

Also getting significant votes at the moment are:

-- Department of Neat and Clean

-- Ministry of Filth

-- Longhorn Alumni Society

-- Austin Department of Are You Gonna Eat that?

Also included in the options seeing heavy voting is "The Colbert Solid Waste Department," an obvious reference to when NASA asked for public input when determining a name for a new node of the International Space Station. Comedy Central's Stephen Colbert led a campaign to name it after him, and his name was a runaway favorite among those giving input.

Of course NASA ignored that public input and named their Space Station node "Tranquility" instead, and sadly, the City of Austin is likely to ignore the above suggestions on new names for their garbage department as well.

That said, one of the suggested names did catch my eye as being especially appropriate for an Austin garbage department. But I'm guessing the person who suggested "Texas A&M University" will ultimately be just as disappointed as Stephen Colbert's fans were.

Read more...

TPA weekly round-up

Here's hoping that nobody from yesterday's Superbowl tries to sing again for a while, as the Texas Progressive Alliance brings you this week's roundup.

Bay Area Houston submits a press release from Rick Perry: TX Gov Rick Perry puts the Chupacabra on emergency legislation.

Off the Kuff conducted an interview with Houston City Attorney David Feldman to discuss the upcoming Council redistricting process.

Harold at Letters From Texas poked fun at the Texas weather on both Wednesday and Friday.

While the Big Gas Mafia is pumping diesel fuel into the ground in the name of national security and energy independence, they have been quietly planning to ship a bunch of it to China. TXsharon wants you to think about who profits and who pays for this so-called "clean energy."

CouldBeTrue of South Texas Chisme notes privatizing essential services promotes profits not the general welfare. The Corpus Christi Caller Times pretends (or not) to be all stupid about the rolling blackouts.

Texans came to the shivering realization last week that the energy capital of the world can't keep its lights on. PDiddie at Brains and Eggs provides the reveal.

How bad is the diaster that Perry wrought? Libby Shaw spells it out over at TexasKaos . See Governor Rick Perry Lays a $30 Billion Rotten Egg on Texas.

Public Citizen asked a series of questions over at TexasVox about our rolling blackouts: who's to blame? (hint: coal and natural gas) who saved our bacon? (hint: renewables) and who profited?

Eye On Williamson informs us that GOP Williamson County Congressman John Carter wants to increase the amount of mercury in our air, Rep. Carter wants to increase corporate profits by harming nature.

It's always good to know that someone is sticking up for the stupid and belligerently ignorant. McBlogger offers his thanks to Speaker Boehner for being that someone.

Neil at Texas Liberal wrote last week on the release---after many months---of the video tape of a number of Houston police officers beating up 15 year old Chad Holley. The public has a right to see this video. Houston's political leaders should be less concerned about Houston's image and the unlikely prospect of civil disorder, and more concerned with high rates of poverty in Houston that help drive young people to crime.

Read more...

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Q. How many Texans with political satire blogs were quoted in today's New York Times?

A. One.

Here's a big shout-out to journalist Morgan Smith, who figured out how to get an all-expenses paid trip to Big Bend knows a good story when she sees one.

Read more...

Friday, February 4, 2011

Austin weather update

I don't know about you, but I am absolutely exhausted from shoveling snow this morning!

Read more...

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Texas Journalist of the Day Award

This news anchor in Houston has apparently not gotten used to the new wide-screen HD format at his station. Oopsie.



Well that didn't take long - for KPRC-TV in Houston to assert their copyright claim so that you, the crap-reading public, could no longer watch as their news anchor shot the bird on live TV. But as a consolation prize, here's a screen capture.

Read more...

Remember the "cell phones in Texas' prisons" scandal?

California knows how to have a real "cell phones in prison" scandal.

Read more...

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Austin Weather Briefs

Austin area schools condemned for failing to drastically over-react to weather

Many parents of school-age children strongly criticized Austin-area schools for failing to close in the face of what appeared to be a possible single flake of snow Wednesday.

Area schools' failure to close during unseasonably cold temperatures this morning created a total gridlock of parents and their school-age children attempting to go about the exact same routine they do every morning.

Man shoveling snow, only
944 miles from Austin

"This is ridiculous," said one student. "I don't see why we have to be in school today. Sure, it might be 70 degrees inside my classroom, but look outside! It's sort of cold out there!"

Weather forecasters say there's little relief in sight for Central Texas residents, explaining that there is a 70 percent chance of continued slight discomfort for the remainder of the week.

ERCOT orders rolling blackouts as power grid exceeds generation capacity

ERCOT, the Electric Reliability Council of Texas which manages the state's power grid, ordered continuing area rolling blackouts this morning, as the state's electric power needs outpaced producers' ability to provide the needed electricity.

While the blackouts were scheduled to last no longer than 45 minutes in any neighborhood, some were complaining of outages exceeding two hours.

"They cannot possibly expect me to survive under these conditions," said one Austin woman, forced to go to work without blow-drying and Chi-straightening her hair, and who then reportedly suffered further indignity when her local Starbucks was unable to fill her usual order of triple grande caramel macchiato half-caf, with extra whip.

The University of Texas, however, has been spared the rolling blackouts, since the campus not only has it's own generator system, but also recently acquired a state-of-the-art solar powered built-in butt cheek warmer in Longhorns head coach Mack Brown's office chair, to protect his precious delicate ass.

While the state Capitol has not been spared power outages, authorities report that the building remains quite comfortable, explaining that for some reason, there seems to be an unlimited source of hot air originating from the building.

Weather woes force area seniors to bore grandkids with "when I was your age" stories

The Central Texas cold snap on Wednesday morning triggered area senior citizens to bore their grandchildren half to death with stories of cold snaps experienced during their own childhood.

"Why when I was your age, we were forced to walk to school in the snow every morning," approximately 23,395 area schoolchildren reported their grandparents telling them this morning.

In a related story, police report a sharp spike in assaults against elderly people in Central Texas today, as younger family members are apparently pummeling them with iPods and Wii controllers in attempts to shut them up.

Read more...

Monday, February 7, 2011

Somebody should have nominated Letters From Texas

The City of Austin asked citizens a simple enough question: help us rename the city's solid waste department. The department takes care of garbage, recycling, street sweeping, that sort of thing.

With a question that wide-open, you had to know that the "Keep Austin Weird" crowd would not disappoint. The overwhelming favorite at the moment is the Fred Durst Society of the Humanities and Arts, with almost 26,000 votes.

Also getting significant votes at the moment are:

-- Department of Neat and Clean

-- Ministry of Filth

-- Longhorn Alumni Society

-- Austin Department of Are You Gonna Eat that?

Also included in the options seeing heavy voting is "The Colbert Solid Waste Department," an obvious reference to when NASA asked for public input when determining a name for a new node of the International Space Station. Comedy Central's Stephen Colbert led a campaign to name it after him, and his name was a runaway favorite among those giving input.

Of course NASA ignored that public input and named their Space Station node "Tranquility" instead, and sadly, the City of Austin is likely to ignore the above suggestions on new names for their garbage department as well.

That said, one of the suggested names did catch my eye as being especially appropriate for an Austin garbage department. But I'm guessing the person who suggested "Texas A&M University" will ultimately be just as disappointed as Stephen Colbert's fans were.

Read more...

TPA weekly round-up

Here's hoping that nobody from yesterday's Superbowl tries to sing again for a while, as the Texas Progressive Alliance brings you this week's roundup.

Bay Area Houston submits a press release from Rick Perry: TX Gov Rick Perry puts the Chupacabra on emergency legislation.

Off the Kuff conducted an interview with Houston City Attorney David Feldman to discuss the upcoming Council redistricting process.

Harold at Letters From Texas poked fun at the Texas weather on both Wednesday and Friday.

While the Big Gas Mafia is pumping diesel fuel into the ground in the name of national security and energy independence, they have been quietly planning to ship a bunch of it to China. TXsharon wants you to think about who profits and who pays for this so-called "clean energy."

CouldBeTrue of South Texas Chisme notes privatizing essential services promotes profits not the general welfare. The Corpus Christi Caller Times pretends (or not) to be all stupid about the rolling blackouts.

Texans came to the shivering realization last week that the energy capital of the world can't keep its lights on. PDiddie at Brains and Eggs provides the reveal.

How bad is the diaster that Perry wrought? Libby Shaw spells it out over at TexasKaos . See Governor Rick Perry Lays a $30 Billion Rotten Egg on Texas.

Public Citizen asked a series of questions over at TexasVox about our rolling blackouts: who's to blame? (hint: coal and natural gas) who saved our bacon? (hint: renewables) and who profited?

Eye On Williamson informs us that GOP Williamson County Congressman John Carter wants to increase the amount of mercury in our air, Rep. Carter wants to increase corporate profits by harming nature.

It's always good to know that someone is sticking up for the stupid and belligerently ignorant. McBlogger offers his thanks to Speaker Boehner for being that someone.

Neil at Texas Liberal wrote last week on the release---after many months---of the video tape of a number of Houston police officers beating up 15 year old Chad Holley. The public has a right to see this video. Houston's political leaders should be less concerned about Houston's image and the unlikely prospect of civil disorder, and more concerned with high rates of poverty in Houston that help drive young people to crime.

Read more...

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Q. How many Texans with political satire blogs were quoted in today's New York Times?

A. One.

Here's a big shout-out to journalist Morgan Smith, who figured out how to get an all-expenses paid trip to Big Bend knows a good story when she sees one.

Read more...

Friday, February 4, 2011

Austin weather update

I don't know about you, but I am absolutely exhausted from shoveling snow this morning!

Read more...

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Texas Journalist of the Day Award

This news anchor in Houston has apparently not gotten used to the new wide-screen HD format at his station. Oopsie.



Well that didn't take long - for KPRC-TV in Houston to assert their copyright claim so that you, the crap-reading public, could no longer watch as their news anchor shot the bird on live TV. But as a consolation prize, here's a screen capture.

Read more...

Remember the "cell phones in Texas' prisons" scandal?

California knows how to have a real "cell phones in prison" scandal.

Read more...

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Austin Weather Briefs

Austin area schools condemned for failing to drastically over-react to weather

Many parents of school-age children strongly criticized Austin-area schools for failing to close in the face of what appeared to be a possible single flake of snow Wednesday.

Area schools' failure to close during unseasonably cold temperatures this morning created a total gridlock of parents and their school-age children attempting to go about the exact same routine they do every morning.

Man shoveling snow, only
944 miles from Austin

"This is ridiculous," said one student. "I don't see why we have to be in school today. Sure, it might be 70 degrees inside my classroom, but look outside! It's sort of cold out there!"

Weather forecasters say there's little relief in sight for Central Texas residents, explaining that there is a 70 percent chance of continued slight discomfort for the remainder of the week.

ERCOT orders rolling blackouts as power grid exceeds generation capacity

ERCOT, the Electric Reliability Council of Texas which manages the state's power grid, ordered continuing area rolling blackouts this morning, as the state's electric power needs outpaced producers' ability to provide the needed electricity.

While the blackouts were scheduled to last no longer than 45 minutes in any neighborhood, some were complaining of outages exceeding two hours.

"They cannot possibly expect me to survive under these conditions," said one Austin woman, forced to go to work without blow-drying and Chi-straightening her hair, and who then reportedly suffered further indignity when her local Starbucks was unable to fill her usual order of triple grande caramel macchiato half-caf, with extra whip.

The University of Texas, however, has been spared the rolling blackouts, since the campus not only has it's own generator system, but also recently acquired a state-of-the-art solar powered built-in butt cheek warmer in Longhorns head coach Mack Brown's office chair, to protect his precious delicate ass.

While the state Capitol has not been spared power outages, authorities report that the building remains quite comfortable, explaining that for some reason, there seems to be an unlimited source of hot air originating from the building.

Weather woes force area seniors to bore grandkids with "when I was your age" stories

The Central Texas cold snap on Wednesday morning triggered area senior citizens to bore their grandchildren half to death with stories of cold snaps experienced during their own childhood.

"Why when I was your age, we were forced to walk to school in the snow every morning," approximately 23,395 area schoolchildren reported their grandparents telling them this morning.

In a related story, police report a sharp spike in assaults against elderly people in Central Texas today, as younger family members are apparently pummeling them with iPods and Wii controllers in attempts to shut them up.

Read more...

© 2008-2012 Harold Cook. All rights reserved. No content may be reproduced without prior written permission. Views expressed herein are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of clients, employers, or other sane human beings. This offer is void where prohibited. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Political satire contained herein is subject to change without notice. Your mileage may vary. All models are over the age of 18. Keep away from open flames. No animals were harmed in the making of this website. If this website is ingested, do not induce vomiting; if symptoms persist, consult your physician. If content of this website offends you, by all means extract the corncob from your ass and lighten up. Comment on this.



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