As a service to you, the crap-reading public, we here at Letters From Texas Worldwide H.Q. herein present this year’s State of the Union Speech Drinking Game.
When Obama mentions jobs, the economy, or manufacturing: 0.5 shot
For every camera cut-away to an undocumented immigrant in audience: 0.5 shot
For a glimpse of John McCain dozing off: 2 shots
For when you see Ted Nugent scowling: 1.5 shot
For when you see Ted Nugent drawing a weapon: 1 shot
For when you see Ted Nugent escorted out of the Gallery: 2 shots
In case you read a stupid tweet from Steve Stockman: 1 shot
In case you see that a reporter retweets said stupid tweet from Steve Stockman: 1 shot
If protestor is forcibly removed from House Gallery (besides Ted Nugent): 2 shots
If you see Justice Scalia looking all “I hate me some Obama”: 1 shot
For every person with whom you’re watching who compliments Michelle Obama’s outfit: 1.5 shots
If Louie Gohmert hollers something crazy: 1 shot
When Obama mentions “Afghanistan” or “Korea”: 0.5 shot
For every 5 seconds on camera Sheila Jackson-Lee nabs: 0.5 shot
When the expression on Speaker Boehner’s face may indicate that he has acid reflux: 1 shot
When the expression on Speaker Boehner’s face may indicate that he’s had some work done: 1 shot
When the expression on Speaker Boehner’s face may indicate that he’s had some work done by a taxidermist: 1 shot
This has been your Letters From Texas State of the Union Speech Drinking Game. View responsibly.
Update: apparently, even Marco Rubio played the Letters From Texas State of the Union Drinking Game:
