News briefs from the Texas primary elections

Here are a few tidbits left over from yesterday’s primary elections in Texas that are just too juicy not to mention:

Clinton has yuge win over…Trump?

I find it hilarious that Hillary Clinton, who will almost certainly be the Democratic nominee for President, got hundreds of thousands more votes in Texas than Donald Trump, who will almost certainly be the Republican nominee for President. This, despite total GOP primary turnout being roughly twice that of Democratic primary turnout in the state.

The sun will come out, to Morrow

Travis County (Austin) Republicans have themselves a teeny weenie little problem, and his name is Robert Morrow. He won the race for Travis County Republican County Chairman yesterday. For those not familiar with this bastion of civility, Morrow once claimed that he was 95% sure that Hillary Clinton has brain cancer and wouldn’t run for President. He once asked Chelsea Clinton at a book signing if her mother had ever told her that Webb Hubbell was her real father, and whether Bill Clinton targets teen girls. In Morrow’s world, Rick Perry is bi, Marco Rubio is gay, and the Republican National Committee is “a gay foam party.”  Are you beginning to see a suspicious pattern here? He lambasted a reporter who contacted him last night, after the reporter had the nerve to decline to join Morrow in using the “N” word. Morrow’s election as GOP chair is personally annoying to me, because now I have to renew my Costco membership so I can afford all the popcorn I’ll need to watch this train wreck unfold. Morrow, perhaps predictably, is a Donald Trump fan, who most wise politicos in Austin blocked on social media years ago. His twitter feed: totally NSFW. I know he sounds like a real catch, but sorry – no word yet whether he’s single.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with the Republican Party, Part II

In other news regarding GOP class acts, the State Board of Education, long known as The Place Where All Good Ideas Go To Die, may soon have another member who will fit right in: Republican Mary Lou Bruner leads going into a runoff election for a seat on the Board. She believes that Barack Obama used to be a gay prostitute, that teaching evolution is responsible for school shootings, and that the United Nations has a secret plan to reduce the world’s population by 2/3’s. Pretty swanky.

It’s always darkest just before the Lon

It’s the day after an election. Which means that, as usual, it’s time for everybody to say this: poor Lon Burnam. Burnam lost his state House seat in an election two years ago, and now he’s lost a statewide primary. The only actual qualified candidate in a statewide race for Railroad Commission (which has nothing to do with railroads), he won’t make the runoff election, because he was bested by a candidate named Grady Yarbrough (who has nothing to do with Ralph Yarborough, a legendary former US Senator widely beloved by Democrats over the age of, say, 92). The winner of the runoff (which has nothing to do with Lon) will go on to run as a Democrat in a statewide election for Railroad Commissioner (which has nothing to do with Democrats winning a statewide race, per usual).

What other fun facts did you notice across Texas yesterday?

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