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Re-writing history, one lie at a time

About six weeks ago, George W. Bush’s spokesbot Dana Perino claimed in a FoxNews interview that there had never been a terrorist attack on American soil while Bush was the President. I thought at the time it must have been a massive case of the stupidicitis, in which she simply misspoke.

Now comes “Mr. 9-11″ Rudy Guliani, who claimed the exact same thing last Friday on Good Morning America:

In political messaging, one person misspeaking is a mistake. Two misspeaking is a concerted coordinated trend, and thinking, patriotic Americans should call them on their lies every time they attempt them. Those who seek to re-write this history only serve to so utterly mask the roots of our life-threatening challenges that they themselves put Americans at further grave risk.

And what of the so-called “reporters” interviewing these liars? Best I can tell from the video clips, neither Perino’s or Guliani’s false claims were at all challenged by their interviewers. Of course, Perino’s interview was on FoxNews, which is to political news coverage what pro wrestling is to sports – it’s not real, they just want you to think it is.

Republicans, get it through your thick skulls: no matter how anxious you are for President Obama to fail, 9-11 happened, with Bush and your beloved Dick Cheney at the helm. And what about those anthrax attacks? Did Bush ever get to the bottom of that? Nope. But whether they originated from a foreign or domestic enemy, they too were terrorist attacks, which is what the Bush administration called them at the time, on American soil during Bush’s tenure.

And, by the way, just in case the lies spread to other fronts, here are some other things that actually did happen during the Bush administration, much to the inconvenience of Republican history re-writers everywhere.

– New Orleans was partially destroyed, and FEMA’s response under Bush made more people die.

–America went to war under false pretenses, while the Bush White House implied repeatedly that Iraq had something to do with the 9-11 attack, and people died.

–The White House, under Bush, turned a budget deficit Bill Clinton erased into an ocean of red ink.

–America, under Bush, failed to capture Osama bin Laden, “dead or alive.”

–The economy, under Bush, completely tanked

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Alberto Gonzales is a classy guy

George W. Bush’s Attorney General Alberto Gonzales finally found work. He’ll be teaching a political science class at Texas Tech University, already the most prestigious university in all of West Lubbock. Many news reports could have told you that much, but Letters From Texas, Ivory Tower Division, goes the extra mile and exclusively reports this draft of:

Professor Gonzales’ Class Syllabus

Professor Alberto Gonzales
Political Science 2303
Tuesdays-Thursdays 9-11:30 am

Class 1: The silly and trivial notion of habeas corpus: liberal evil at work.

Class 2: Domestic eavesdropping for fun and profit.

Class 3: U.S. Attorneys: you appointed ‘em, and you can fire ‘em.

Class 4: Waterboarding is a Club Med activity: the torture is only torture if we use the word “torture.”
 
Class 5: Congressional Testimony: why the phrases ”I don’t know” and “I can’t remember” are unacceptable when your children try it, but work just fine for Attorneys General.
 
Class 6: Why being a “Yes Man” is highly underrated. (co-lecture with Condoleezza Rice)
 
Class 7: Life after public service, and how I should have left ”Dick Cheney’s Bitch” off my resume.
 
Class 8: Final Exam

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How can I miss you if you won’t go away?

Yep. He’s back. Dick Cheney.

He’s made several things clear with this interview.

First, that his staff has not informed him that the election is over.

Second, that he wants credit for terrorists’ failure to attack on U.S. soil since 9-11.

And third, that he’s got a fat book deal in the works, and he’s warming up to get rich(er) off of it.

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Scientists have made a break-through…

…in the never-ending search to explain the existence of Dick Cheney.

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Weekly poll wrap-up

Last week’s weekly poll was “they tried to make Obama into the Anti-Christ, but they failed. It begs the question, who is?”

Bottom line here: 43% of you can’t be fooled. You are not sheep. You were not pressing the snooze button on this one. Because you recognized that the obvious choice was missing.

Despite that, 12% of you did pick George Bush, followed by 4% choosing Osama bin Laden, 5% picking John McCain, 3% opting for Vladimir Putin, and 2% going with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

But the big winner was the elephant not in the room. 43% picked “not Obama, but not any of these clowns either.”

Congratulations, 43 percenters, here’s your prize:


This week’s poll is on top of the right hand sidebar. As always, vote on it there, and comment on it here.

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Weekly Poll Wrap-Up

Last week’s poll question was, “what Texan would you most want Dick Cheney to take with him while quail hunting?”

After a week-long jostling match where the top two were neck-in-neck, Kinky Friedman “won” the competition, favored as the most annoying by 42 percent of those voting.

Following closely behind was Lance Armstrong with 32 percent, no doubt buoyed by frequent sightings with women mere mortals can only dream of, and whose restraining orders are a constant annoyance.

Mark Cuban proved himself to be only parochially annoying to those in the DFW media market, having gotten only 14 percent among readers of this particular site. And H. Ross Perot proved himself to be the has-been annoying person, with only 10 percent even remembering why he’s annoying.

Vote in the (belated) weekly poll on top of the right hand sidebar, and comment on it here.

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