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aaaaand some late contest entries

Too bad this entry was submitted too late to be considered, ’cause it’s a good one. The credit goes to Dick Tagain. So if you like this entry, you like Dick.

And here’s another late entry from Dick. Kind of wordy and over-the-top, but what the hell, I liked his other effort so I’ll throw this one in as well:
And here’s another good one arriving late, by Christine Simmons (except that the “victory” component is missing, so I’m guessing RPT won’t use it):

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RPT Logo Contest Results

Monday, we announced this contest, to grant the wish of the Republican Party of Texas in their quest for help to develop a new logo. You see, they need help with their image. Imagine that.

So of the hundreds of site visitors who read about the contest, I quickly observed that almost all of you are lazy-asses, because there weren’t very many contest entries. But keeping in mind that the only requirements RPT stated were to include the words “2010,” “Texas,” and “victory,” here’s a good one, by Kim Johnson:

And here’s the winner, the creator of which will get a t-shirt (and also continued anonymity, as this person, wisely, didn’t want to be associated with a blog as dubious as this one):

The reason I decided this entry was the winner: an actual effort was made to include clip art. This must have added upward of tens of seconds to the project. Other *cough* entries aren’t making it onto the site – even we here at Letters From Texas Worldwide H.Q. have our (admittedly low) standards, and some of you people clearly have anger management issues when it comes to Republicans. But nice try.

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The Republican Party of Texas needs our help!

Friends, the Republican Party of Texas sent out an email last week, saying they need our help. Now I know that we’ve never stood idly by when someone is in need, so we must immediately get to work and come to their rescue!

It seems they’re looking for a new logo, and they’re stumped. That’s where we come in. The only requirements they state in the email:

The logo must incorporate the words “2010” “Texas” and “Victory”.

Sooooo, Letters From Texas Worldwide Headquarters is having yet another of our patented contests!

Email me your submission for the new logo of the Republican Party of Texas by close of business tomorrow. I’ll post the best of them here, and the winner will get a free t-shirt!

Here you go – I’ll get the ball rolling myself. This example incorporates all the required words and everything. See how easy that is? It’s hard to believe RPT needs our help! Come on – this’ll be the easiest t-shirt you ever stole.

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Too much democracy can get dicey, so we’re having a contest

Sometimes, when the powers-that-be ask for public input, they get answers they don’t expect.

Take, for example, the sewage treatment plant in San Francisco, which was almost named for George W. Bush last year.

Or perhaps this recent example, in which NASA asked for public input on what to name a new module of the international space station. The trouble started when NASA allowed write-in votes. Beating out “Serenity,” the top NASA suggestion, was “Colbert,” which collected over 230,000 write-in votes after The Colbert Report show host Stephen Colbert asked viewers to write in his name.

In that vein, we’re having a Letters From Texas Worldwide Headquarters contest!

This blog’s name will change for one day only: April Fools Day, April 1st. I don’t know what the new name of the blog will be, but you do.

Post your suggestion in the comments section today, for the April Fools Day name for this blog. I’ll take the funniest, most irreverent, or at least most interesting proposed name, and it will become the name of the blog for April Fools. If there are several great ideas, I’ll probably post a poll in a couple of days and let readers decide. UPDATE: I am definitely going to post a poll with several of the best ideas, and readers will decide.

What do you win? Well, nothing except bragging rights, but what the hell, post an entry anyway.

Get to it – this blog ain’t gonna name itself!

Update #2: you can keep commenting if you want, but the finalists are already being polled on top of the right hand sidebar. So scroll up there and vote for your favorite!

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The Biggest Baddest Politically Savvy Mo-Fo(s) in Texas Named

During the week prior to the election, contest participants sent in their best guess on what Obama’s electoral vote count would be.

The results are in. Sort of.

Most leading news sources still haven’t called Missouri, but the rest of the country is settled. Having a short attention span, I got tired of waiting. After once again looking at McCain’s admittedly-narrow lead in the state, I’m calling Missouri for McCain. This leaves a final electoral vote count of 365 for Obama. Some news sources are reporting 364, but it appears that Nebraska, which can split electoral votes, has indeed peeled one vote off in Obama’s favor. But it doesn’t matter since nobody picked 365 anyway.

So among our contest entrants, who, you ask, is the Biggest Baddest Political Savvy Mo-Fo in Texas? Well, there are actually 5, each of whom picked 364 electoral votes for Obama, the closest guess (and, amazingly, the most popular guess from among contestants).

Say hello to my leetle friends: Nick Hellyar, Hal Kilshaw, Mike Buda, Matt Hardigree, and Joe Bean. Congratulations to the five Letters From Texas readers who have proven themselves to not be idiots. The rest of us are sucking it.

The winner of the free t-shirt, as chosen by Doug Zabel (the guy) via random drawing is Nick Hellyar. Congratulations Nick!

Interestingly, at least two of the five who are the biggest baddest politically savvy mo-fo’s in Texas, are indeed not in Texas at all. Hal Kilshaw, a hell of a political mind who has done work in Texas before, is a Louisiana boy. And Mike Buda is in Michigan.

Honorable Mentions:

Rachel Farris, who picked 360, was only 5 votes off, and who has complained that I did not properly link to her in this post as originally written, which pretty much proves that she is, indeed, mean rachel. Dot com.

Randall Terrell, who picked 371, was only 6 votes off.

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Demons are a Ghoul’s Best Friend

In anticipation of Halloween, we take a brief break from the rigors of the final stretch of campaign season, to proudly bring you an internet game: Stomp the Flaming Bag of Poo.

Where else can you find this level of high-quality thought-provoking discourse?

And speaking of Halloween, the midnight Halloween deadline is quickly approaching for you to enter the Letters From Texas Electoral Vote Contest.

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Letters From Texas “Biggest Baddest Politically Savvy Mo-Fo In Texas” Contest!

Winners announced

Think you know what’s going on in the race for President? Well talk’s cheap, bucko. We’re having a contest!

Email me with your best guess for how many electoral votes Obama will get, and the winner not only gets a free t-shirt of his or her choice from, but will also be enthusiastically bragged about on this website as The biggest baddest politically savvy mo-fo in Texas, 2008 Edition. Now how the hell can you beat that with a stick, like you do your cat?

Personally, I think Obama is heading for 319 electoral votes, but I’ll change my mind 12 times between now and election day. What about you? And, oh yeah, we’re not letting you wait until the last minute either. You have to enter by Halloween, because one never knows what surprises await on the final weekend before election day.

CNN’s electoral vote calculator map is a helpful tool to help you work out the math.

Here’s the deal: you’re considered entered in the contest if you email me by midnight, October 31st, with your estimate of how many electoral votes Obama will get. In case of multiple entries by the same person, only the last entry will count (in other words, you’re allowed to change your mind, until the deadline)

Why email? Because it wouldn’t be fair for the late entries to see what the earlier entries have guessed. Also, some people might not want to out themselves prior to the election.

All entries which correctly guess the number of electoral votes Obama receives (or ties for closest) will be enthusiastically bragged about on this website as the official Letters From Texas Worldwide Headquarters Biggest Baddest Politically Savvy Mo-Fo In Texas. And one will get a free t-shirt of his or her choice (in case of a tie, a drawing will be held to choose the t-shirt winner).

Feel free to comment, but remember that you’re not entered until I get your email. Good luck!

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Photo caption contest

Put your entry for most absurd caption in the comments section regarding this special moment, which happened when McCain felt uncharacteristically frisky immediately after the final Presidential debate.

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We have a winner…

The results from yesterday’s t-shirt poll and contest are in. Doug Zabel of had agreed to let readers decide on whether he would print and sell this t-shirt at the state Democratic convention in Austin and online. An overwhelming 78 percent said “hell yes,” so Doug’s doing it. After he finishes doing it, he’s ordering the shirts.

Doug also determined that the winner of the t-shirt, based on reader comments on the post, is Jeff Crosby. Doug’s decision-making process was as follows:

The “I like turtles” response is clearly from a hard-shell Baptist, which is why he/she signed him/herself “Anonymous”. (As we all know, the main trouble with Baptists is: They don’t hold them underwater long enough)

I liked “Big Tex’s” Rick Perry analogy, but I’m a tad disturbed about how he would know about Rick Perry’s sexual performance. (As for Perry’s official performance, well, has a t-shirt that says “If ignorance is bliss, Rick Perry must be ecstatic!”)

I enjoyed “Don’t Mess w/ Pink’s” response the most, but she was disqualified because she simply recycled Meg Ryan’s seminal fireworks display from “When Harry Met Sally.” (You know why women fake orgasms? They think we care.)

Which brings us to Jeff Crosby, who wins by default with his observation about reporters liking to watch and his terse reminder to Dick Nixon, which is of course the exception that proves the t-shirt, since even people who like sex know that Nixon’s politics were dirty.

The shirts have been ordered and will be available on within days.

And that t-shirt and many others will also be available at the booth at the state Democratic convention as well. Congratulations Jeff. I think.

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We report…you decide. And, win a free t-shirt

Most blogs just moan and groan and do boring stuff like educate and report news one couldn’t read anywhere else. Not this one.

Never content with the sharing of mere facts and opinion, we (yes, you and I) decide on the fate of the universe. And what better place to start than in deciding which t-shirts will be sold at the Texas state Democratic Convention?

Doug Zabel runs, and he is the t-shirt vendor of choice for the state Democratic Convention. He is undecided on one of the shirts, needs to go to print, and has decided that YOU will make the decision.

So here’s the deal: on top of the righthand sidebar, there is a special poll, and it’ll only be up for 24 hours. Vote yes or no on whether will sell this t-shirt at the state convention. [update: sorry, the poll is closed]

And oh yeah: you should also leave a funny, helpful, snarky, or completely ridiculous comment below, because the best comment posted today will win a free t-shirt from

Here’s the shirt…vote yes or no in the poll to your right, and comment below. (also, if you’re commenting anonymously, you’ll need to leave your name in the comment so we’ll know who you are in case you win the t-shirt – DUH)

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