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FUBAR-Cam Update: Election Night at the TV Studio

On the right is Hans Klingler with the Republican Party of Texas. I’m on the left, appropriately. News8Austin’s Catie Beck is in the middle. We’re on the set, which is located on the roof of the studio, in gale-force winds.

Photo caption contest time. Add yours to the comments section.

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Election Day Circular Stream of Consciousness Thoughts

1. How come they make a big deal out of the election eve voting in Notchville Dix, or Dixville Notch, or whatever the hell it is? The local Chamber of Commerce there has an even better scam going than the Marfa Lights. Marfa’s been stealing tourists’ money for years.

2. Speaking of stealing, the Texas Weekly “Out There” column guy linked to my “yard sign thefts in my neighborhood” article, but not my “election night drinking game” article. That he is more attracted to stealing than substance abuse indicates that he, whoever he is, has a promising future ahead of him in politics. It would be even more promising if he was drawn to both, however – with extra credit points if he is married, but gettin’ some on the side. I strongly suggest Texas Weekly publisher Ross Ramsey keep a close eye on him for a while.

3. Speaking of my neighborhood yard sign thefts, that situation made the TV last night. I am not, however, responsible for the so-called “American” who has a life size cardboard cutout of George W. Bush, and for the record, she lives in Zilker, not my neighborhood. She reportedly tried to move into my neighborhood, but she was stopped at the border by the authorities.

4. Speaking of TV, I’m on it tonight. If you’re in the Austin area for election night, tune into News8Austin beginning shortly after 6 p.m. for the thrill of watching me pretend like I know what the hell is going on. RPT’s Hans Klingler will also be there all night, with other guests rotating in, including the lovely and talented Hector Nieto with TDP (who, on TV, always looks kind of like a Muppet , but I mean that in a good way). We are apparently broadcasting live from the roof of the studio building, and my main goal is to bet Hans on the outcome of the Presidential race. The loser has to jump.

5. Speaking of election night, how did I get tricked into missing all the election night parties? Does the TV station have some H.R. policy against drinking tequila on the roof?

6. Speaking of tequila, how did I manage to run out of it on election eve? That’s just poor planning.

7. Speaking of election eve, how come they get to jump the gun and vote on election eve in Notchville Dix, or Dixville Notch, or whatever the hell it is?

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Desperate Cries for Help Your Faithful Correspondent in the News

Crack Associated Press reporters Jay Root (most recently of the might-as-well-be-defunct Fort Worth Star-Telegram) and April Castro (most recently in the Z-Tejas bar) co-write an election preview piece on the legislative outlook in which I am included, presumably because it’s kind of cool how I gratuitously insult George W. Bush.

Austin America-Statesman Washington Bureau reporter Jason Embry writes an analysis piece on the Congressional district 10 race, in which I somehow fail to gratuitously insult George W. Bush.

Sneak Preview: applicable if you’re in the Austin area on Election night, I’ll be part of the News 8 coverage team all night after the polls close in the central time zone at 7 pm. I’ll be joined by, among others, Republican Hans Klingler, who is assigned to disagree with everything I say. Klingler and I have been hand-picked for this prestigious assignment mainly because we’re old enough to seem slightly credible to the 8-10 year old target market, yet we’re young enough to still have hair.

As you may already be aware, Hans is an underhanded double-dealing low-down mean spirited sniveling Republican. Since he is my good friend, I will tolerate absolutely no insults whatsoever of Hans on this website. Letters From Texas Worldwide Headquarters has strict policies against such things.

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Your Faithful Correspondent In The News

A post previously appearing on this website was updated Friday morning after the close of the Democratic National Convention and appeared on the Waco Tribune editorial page Sunday.

Also, catching up from last week, if you go here and scroll down to the “watch the video” icon and click on it, you can have the rare thrill of watching me state many obvious things about the upcoming Democratic Convention, which already came and went.

And also catching up from last week, if you go here and scroll down to the first of two video links, you’ll watch me state the obvious about the (hopefully) now-settled “Hillary versus Barack” delegate friction.

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Your faithful correspondent in the news…

Apparently, I just can’t get along.

Today’s evidence includes me on Austin TV being mean to Ralph Nader (sorry, one cannot embed News8Austin’s video elsewhere, for some strange reason that I SURE WISH THEY’D FIGURE OUT).

Next is an audio podcast from the Houston Chronicle in which I (and CNN) don’t quite agree with Congressman Mike McCaul, and McCaul’s spokesman (and my old friend) Mike Rosen (go Bellaire! Westbury sux!) seems to disagree with me. Go figure.

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