Welcome, first time Texas Legislature watchers, to the next significant part of the budget process – the day the budget hits the House floor! The Senate’s budget floor debate is scheduled a few days from now.
As a LettersFromTexas tutorial for the benefit of you, the crap-reading public, here’s what you can expect out of the budget process in each chamber:
Typical budget day in the Senate: 5 amendments, 3 frowned upon, all quickly tabled. In extreme cases hurt feelings may extend all the way until high tea. Several mani-pedis may need to be rescheduled. This is a day of high stress for waiters at Jeffrey’s, 3 Forks, and Austin Land & Cattle, so please keep them in your thoughts and prayers.
Typical budget day in the House: 350 amendments, fisticuffs, and a possible food fight in the members lounge. Tea Party threatens to form 3rd party in next election, 3 committee chairs announce retirement from politics, and 7 agency Executive Directors found hanging from rafters. CSI team called in to investigate.
This has been your LettersFromTexas budget debate tutorial. We now return you to your regularly-scheduled House floor clawing, scratching, and biting.