Dear Astros fans:

Some of you might not have thought much about former Astros closer Brad Lidge since he was traded away. You’ll be happy to know that, while he’s living under an assumed name in Chicago, he seems to be doing just fine. (I’ve needed to get that off my chest for a while now. I didn’t READ MORE…

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Olympic highlights for far

Letters from Texas Worldwide Headquarters has been keeping an eye on the Olympics, so you, the Olympics-hating public, don’t have to. Highlights so far include: – the team from Austria got really confused and mistakenly brought their downhill slalom team, all of whom promptly collapsed from heat exhaustion during the opening ceremonies. – a long READ MORE…

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Weekly poll wrap-up

Last week’s poll question was, “which Texas politician has in reality been tragically abducted, and secretly replaced by an alien from outer space?” Apparently it is a rule that any time Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst (R-On Top of the Horse, If Things Go Exactly According To Plan) is included on a Letters From Texas weekly READ MORE…

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Q: Will John Edwards ever be president, like Bill Clinton was?

A: Close, but no cigar. Pictured are Harold Cook, John Edwards, and a third dim bulb in background

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Billy Clyde has left the hot tub

Sadly, one of the funniest guys I never really knew has passed away. While I only met him in passing a few times, I can’t for the life of me figure out how I missed out, because so many of my good friends knew him so well. He was a political insider who understood the READ MORE…

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Dear Democratic National Delegates:

You’ll be very happy to know that planning for the Democratic National Convention in Denver is proceeding nicely, with an emphasis on your comfort.

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The thing that most worries me…

…is that Paris Hilton’s energy policy kind of makes sense to me. See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

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Dear Houston:

I regret to inform you that today’s weenie roast at the park has been canceled. UPDATE: We at Letters From Texas Worldwide HQ can now exclusively bring you the first photos of Houston-area damage inflicted by this massive storm:

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Headline of the week so far

Those fun-loving headline writers never stop trying to get a good one past their editors.

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