Dear Governor:

As a charter member of Americans Against Cornholing, I am very concerned. I would have assumed that you, like other freedom-loving Americans, agree with us that the practice of cornholing goes against every family value we can think of. Further, I never would have imagined that you personally would be participating in this vile practice. READ MORE…

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Weekly Poll Wrap-up

I’m not gonna lie. I gotta be honest with ya. Last week’s poll was a dismal failure. I’d assumed that with the question, “what really dumb things have you actually gotten mad at your significant other about,” all kinds of interesting comments would appear on the post, accusing wives, husbands, girlfriends, and boyfriends of all READ MORE…

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Noriega’s July 4th Message

What the hell is Rick doing on Whitmire’s porch?

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Great Band Name Update

Yep. We’ve done it again. We’ve searched the world over, in order to bring you, the crap-reading public, the very best in band names. The lyrics to the tracks playing on their MySpace site are pretty entertaining. In a related story, the lyrics are also not safe for work. Unless you have a really cool READ MORE…

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In Texas, if Earl hadn’t had to die, Wanda would STILL be married to him

Some of the policy positions conservatives take truly puzzle me. On the one hand, a classic cornerstone of conservative philosophy is that they say they want to keep government out of people’s lives. And truth be told, every time I’m careening down Interstate 10 during trips to and from Big Bend and see those flashing READ MORE…

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Dear Texas Supreme Court Justices:

I’m sure you tire quickly of all the times people have picked on you lately, what with all the sucking up to campaign contributors you tend to do in your official opinions, and accusations of some of you burning down your own houses and all. So to cheer you up, I thought I’d point out READ MORE…

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Weekly Poll Wrap-Up

Last week’s poll question was, “what Texan would you most want Dick Cheney to take with him while quail hunting?” After a week-long jostling match where the top two were neck-in-neck, Kinky Friedman “won” the competition, favored as the most annoying by 42 percent of those voting. Following closely behind was Lance Armstrong with 32 READ MORE…

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Great Band Name Update

We at Letters From Texas Worldwide Headquarters are always on the lookout for the best band names. And frankly, this one might have made the cut aside from their name, based on their claim that they specialize in a combination of “experimental, ghettotech, and showtunes.” Given that, if their name had been anything other than READ MORE…

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What is Wrong with This Picture?

Despite appearances, one of these women is a Republican, and the other is a Democrat. The diabolical enabler of this difficult-to-explain moment, an unnamed celebrity Republican, was smart enough to be operating the camera, thus ensuring his own safety. Your assignment: in the comments section, guess which one is the Democrat, list the most absurd READ MORE…

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