Further signs that wacky Texas politicos are falling behind

Honestly, one of the few things Texas politics has had going for it in recent years is the laughs.

Which is why it totally disturbs me when there are clear signs that we are falling behind. Our home-grown whack jobs are increasingly not up to par these days.

Which is why I want you to meet Mark “Coonrippy” Brown. He’s running for governor of Tennessee (as a Republican, of course). He, like so many other Republicans, is concerned about our God-given Constitutional right to keep Rebekah, his pet raccoon. Apparently the Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency took Rebekah away after she…um…did what raccoons do – attacked the chickens at the neighborhood high school.

No word yet on how ol’ Coonrippy plans to blame this on Obama, but I’m totally looking forward to it. There are even signs that Coonrippy’s catching on, since the morning The Daily Caller endorsed him.

If you’re not entertained yet, you’re almost dead to me, but I’ll give you one more chance: Coonrippy also makes videos. Here’s one of him during one of his favorite activities – showering with Rebekah The Chicken-killing Raccoon:

Texas politicos: tighten up your act, before it’s too late!

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Meanwhile, in baseball news…

this happened. And it’s also our headline of the day so far.

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Texas news briefs

Republican primary for Lt. Governor heating up The four Republican candidates for Lt. Governor have recently been raising the stakes, each in his own bid to attract an increasingly-conservative base of Republican primary voters. After State Senator Dan Patrick last week accused his three opponents of being soft on not wanting to throw Latinos out READ MORE…

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Wendy Davis needs your cash

In my almost-25 years in politics and government, I’ve never seen anything in Texas like the excitement for Wendy Davis.

If this were shaping up to be a typical election, and Wendy Davis was shaping up to be typical Democratic nominee for Governor, I’d be ready to throw in the towel – Democrats would suffer the same typical result.

But this isn’t the typical election. And Wendy Davis damn sure isn’t the typical candidate; she’s extraordinary. I worked with the Ann Richards campaign back in the day. Governor Richards finished with a ton of enthusiasm, but she didn’t have it from the starting gate like Wendy does. Indeed, she started out her race for Governor 27 percentage points down in the polls.

Let me throw cold water on things: Wendy can’t do this. If you stand still and wait for her to win this election, you’ll be disappointed.

The good news: we – together – can do this. Not just Wendy alone, but all of us.

Texas Democrats have had candidates for Governor who were solid on policy. We’ve had candidates who were flush with campaign money. And we’ve had candidates who were charismatic.

Wendy Davis is the first candidate since Ann Richards who has all three. That’s why she can win.

But we all have to help her with that pesky middle thing – raising the funds necessary for her to tell voters what she stands for. Texas has more expensive media markets than any other state, so it’s impossible to compete without a ton of money.

Today, the leading progressive blogs in Texas have teamed up to help raise money for Wendy. I have no idea how I got on the “leading” list, but I’m happy to play along. There have been Democratic statewide candidates who couldn’t raise money if you gave ‘em a gun, a ski mask, and a list of convenience stores, but Wendy Davis will put in the hard work. Meanwhile, we – you and I – have to put in some cash.

I’ll do my share. Thousands of Texans already have. Will you do yours? Please click on the below gizmo to pitch in right now.

Goal Thermometer

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Texas once again falls behind

Dear Texas politicians:

You’re falling way behind in your efforts to be the world’s wackiest officeholders.

If you’re pressed for time, skip to 4:25.

If you’re really pressed for time, skip to 8:05.

If you’re really really pressed for time, skip to 8:40.

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An important message from the Texas Department of Massive Denial

These two tweets appeared adjacent to each other on my twitter feed earlier this morning:

Screen Shot 2013-09-17 at 11.24.23 AM

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