The bum’s Rush

Rush Limbaugh, who is a qualified expert on the subject because he owns a beach house and you don’t, has a message for you tree hugging bug loving hippie freak commie pinkos who somehow got it into your silly little heads that oil spills are bad. He says the oil spill is good news, mainly READ MORE…

comments so far - add yours!

Chicken Riddle: the sky is falling!

So yesterday, state Representative Debbie Riddle stood up Trey Martinez-Fischer for the big CNN prom. Nobody is more disappointed about that than…well, all the people who don’t share Riddle’s views. This was set to be Martinez-Fischer’s big moment in the sun, since strategically, all he would have had to do is STFU and let Riddle READ MORE…

comments so far - add yours!

Consumer Kudos of the week

I’ve been known to launch a consumer rant or two over businesses when one was a big disappointment, so it’s only fair that I issue kudos when kudos are due. In the case of Groovy Automotive in Austin, I’m more than happy to do so. See, I drive an SUV. Mind you, there are “sport READ MORE…

comments so far - add yours!

LFT Pop Quiz

You’re a Baptist minister, a leader in the anti-gay movement. You have travel plans, but you’ve recently had surgery and claim that you can’t carry your own luggage. What do you do? A. postpone your trip until your recovery is complete. B. go on the trip, hoping that a combination of cab drivers and bellhops READ MORE…

comments so far - add yours!

Texas News Briefs

Houston pounded by Arizona Despite trailing in early innings, the Arizona Diamondbacks defeated the Houston Astros 9-1 last night, in a game that featured Diamondback Chris Snyder hitting a 3-run homer, embarrassing the Astros at home before 20,370 fans. Immediately after the game, the Arizona team reported that they started deportation proceedings against 7 “ambiguously READ MORE…

comments so far - add yours!

Welcome to freshman legislator orientation!

Now, just as a formality, we’d like to first ask that you not do this.

comments so far - add yours!

To a friend on her 40th birthday

The Princess Looks At 40 By whiskeydent (With Deepest Apologies to Jimmy Buffett, who gave us The Pirate Looks At 40) Mother, mother Prada, I have heard your call Wanted to wear your spiked heel shoes since I was three feet tall You made’ em all, you made ’em all Watched the stores that sold READ MORE…

comments so far - add yours!

In which Rick Perry shoots stuff

Damn it, governors always get all the cool toys. As was reported yesterday, Rick Perry shot a coyote while jogging back in February. As any rancher in my little piece of heaven will tell you, one shot coyote is barely a good start. Texans shoot coyotes every day, so the only thing that makes this READ MORE…

comments so far - add yours!

Interoffice Memorandum to Governor Perry

To:          Governor Perry From:     Your Strategic Team Subject:  Debate Prep Governor, you have asked that we forward our recommendations regarding how best to prepare you for debates against Bill White. On reflection, we feel we owe you a big apology. You see, when we advised you to stick with the attack READ MORE…

comments so far - add yours!